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Vegetarian Essays/Vegan Essays

Gabriel Constans has written for magazines and newspapers throughout the world. He has 11 books published in North America, the latest being Luscious Chocolate Smoothies -- An Irresistible Collection of Healthy Cocoa Delights published by Libertary and available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, IndieBound and most book stores. You can see more recipes and chocolate lore at Libertary

His previous books include Great American Smoothies and the novel Buddha's Wife. Gabriel has 5 children, 1 grandchild and a large extended family at the ROP Center for Street Children in Rwanda, to which he is an advisor www.rwandanorphansproject.org. You can read more about Gabriel, his books, articles and other work he is involved in, at www.gogabriel.com,

My Blatant Polygamist Affair with Chocolate

Whether it is the food of the Gods, an active aphrodisiac, a sinister plot of the devil to keep us caught in desire or simply a wonderful part of life; the fact is that the majority of people on this planet have found the consumption of chocolate to be one of the most pleasurable discoveries since sex.

My personal relationship with the cocoa bean started at an early age. I remember, as a baby, getting fed up with the same old breast or bottle day in and day out. If my mother only knew how much I craved a good warmed pint of chocolate milk, she would have enjoyed many more restful nights and a less cranky babe during the day.

I didn't have to wait long however. Before I knew it kindergarten had arrived! Cartons of chocolate milk every day! I think I even traded a few sandwiches and carrot sticks for other kids cartons. If I'd known, at that age, what playing hooky was, I probably would have skipped out at recess and rode my bike (with training wheels) down to the local market and begged shoppers to give me money so I could buy some chocolate milk.

Gabriel Constans The desire for chocolate increased as I aged. If my parents would have allowed it, I would have had something chocolate for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

By the time I turned twelve I was so desperate for the sweet substance that I committed a heinous crime. With a ton of guilt and desperation, I went to the store with a friend and stole some chocolate bars.

We were obviously not cut out for a life of crime. Not only did the chocolate bars my friend and I had snitched turn out to be "for baking only," making us spit out the first big juicy bite, but also someone had seen us inside taking them and told the owner who discovered us cringing out back with the bitter goods drooling down our faces. He made us tell our parents and bring back the money we owed. I had never been so embarrassed in my life and have never stolen anything since that day, let alone chocolate.

My adult years have been pleasantly inundated with dark brown smooth chocolate in every known form, especially ice cream and smoothies. My obsession, which I have no desire or need to change, has become an integral part of my life. Luckily, I found a partner/mate/spouse/wife/friend who also enjoys the sensual benefits of chocolate. I can't imagine our relationship working out so well if she didn't, heaven forbid, love chocolate as much as I do!

We've thought of starting a new religious cult called The Chocolates, which will have houses of worship throughout the land. Followers will pray before their blenders and take communion with their goblets of chocolate nectar. There will be no need for priests, rabbis, ministers or mullahs, because nobody should come between you and your chocolate. All followers will be encouraged to have a personal relationship with the cocoa bean and spread the love, care and compassion it provides in our lives to all those we meet.

Falling in Love

  • Eating chocolate makes people happy because it contains phenylephylamine, which is the same hormone triggered by the brain when you fall in love.
  • Chocolate also contains theobromine, which acts as a myocardial stimulant, smooth muscle relaxant and dilator of coronary arteries.
  • Madame DuBarry and Casanova both believed that chocolate was an aphrodisiac for romance.

Chocolate is Better Than Sex Because . . .
  • You can get chocolate anytime you want it.
  • Good chocolate is easy to find.
  • You don't have to beg for chocolate.
  • With chocolate, you don't have to fake satisfaction.
  • You can safely have chocolate while driving.
  • You can have chocolate any time of the month.
  • You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
  • You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.
  • You can have chocolate all weekend and still walk okay on Monday.
  • Chocolate satisfies, even when it has gone soft.
  • Chocolate doesn't keep you awake talking after you've had it.
  • With chocolate size doesn't matter, it's always good.
  • You are never too old or too young for chocolate.
  • You can ask a stranger for chocolate and not get your face slapped.
  • You can have chocolate in front of your mother.
  • When you have chocolate it does not keep your neighbors awake.
  • Chocolate can make sex better, but sex doesn't improve chocolate.
  • You can have more than one chocolate at the same time.
  • As far as we know, chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.

Luscious Chocolate Smoothies

Recipes From Luscious Chocolate Smoothies:
An Irresistible Collection of Healthy Cocoa Delights

By Gabriel Constans

The Sweetie

Yield: 4 cups

    2 cups orange juice
    1 banana
    1/2 cup raspberries
    1/2 cup blueberries
    1/2 cup guava slices
    1/2cup mango slices
    1 tablespoon cocoa powder

  1. Place all the fruit and cocoa in blender and mix for 1 minute on high.
  2. Pour into clear glass and serve the reddish-brown glow.

The Latin Lover

Yield: 5 cups

    4 ounces melted bittersweet dark chocolate
    2 cups soy milk
    1 banana
    12 ounces silken style soft tofu
    1/2 tablespoon flax seed oil
    1 teaspoon cinnamon powder
  1. Place ingredients in blender and mix things up for 1 minute on medium.
  2. Pour into tall cups, serve and do the samba or tango with your love.

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